May 31, 2010
I want to be brilliant song writer.
Is it just me or do you ever wonder why music, lyrically, is not as beautiful as it used to be? The writers of music in the Rat Pack/Nat King Cole/Bobby Darin era had such a way of beautifully expressing what the heart feels… It’s not even just about the lyrics, but the score (ie: music, for those of you not so familiar/cultured with good music) included strings and horns and all things grand. One of my favorite songs is The Very Thought of You written by Ray Noble and recorded by Nat King Cole…
The very thought of you and I forget to do
The little ordinary things that everyone ought to do
I’m living in a kind of daydream
I’m happy as a king
And foolish though it may seem
To me that’s everythingShort. Simple. Exquisite. I couldn’t ask for more.
The mere idea of you, the longing here for you
You’ll never know how slow the moments go till I’m near to you
I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
It’s just the thought of you
The very thought of you, my love
Enjoy your tea.
May 25, 2010
I’m a HUGE fan of music. I’m an even bigger fan of good lyrics. There is something so divine about an artist that creatively expresses what their heart feels. Most people don’t understand how much heart and soul goes into writing a song… There is so much vulnerability involved. You put yourself out there and hope that people understand. Some people do, some people don’t.
Up until my freshman year of college I was immersed in this idea that I was going to be involved in the music industry. Had you asked me what I wanted to be when I “grow up”, I always answered — without hesitation — that I would be a singer. Duh. There was this sincere belief that I would travel, sing, and hang out with people. Love on them, show them Jesus. There was never a question. Until I went off to school.
After realizing that apparently “everybody” had the gift singing at college, I began to think I wasn’t good enough. That I didn’t have the vocals that others did. That I would never be able to do what they did. I continually compared myself to others… Lies. They were all lies.
I was driving home the other day and began to have a chat with Jesus. I told Him how I wished my life was different. How I felt like I wasn’t really living, but just going to day to day… Just like I said before, I want to live life. Everyday. To the fullest. And to be completely honest, that’s not happening. To be even more honest, I’m not really sure how to change that… I want to sing. I mean, really. There aren’t a lot of people that know I sing. I know that’s what I was born to do. Yes, I’ve totally doubted it for the past 5 years, but deep down I know I’m supposed to use my voice. Who cares what anybody else thinks? Seriously.
It’s time. I’m going to do something about it… and hopefully, this has been a bit of a “swift kick” for you to pursue what it is you’re passionate about.
Enjoy your cup of tea. I know I plan on enjoying mine!
May 7, 2010
I’ve done quite a bit of thinking (general & not-so-general) since my grandfather passed away. It is incredible to me that death can bring so much perspective. I don’t want to live one day without truly living in it. My dad always tells me, “Emily, you don’t want one days experience seven days a week. That same weeks experience turns into one month and that one month turns into twelve months. Soon enough you’ve had the same experience 365 times… You miss out on truly living.” Truth, anyone? I mean, really.
It’s time for a sabbatical. I’m not sure for what length of time, but I need to shut out what everybody else is saying and hear what He is saying. No more twitter, no more facebook… If you need to get a hold of me you know where to find me. It’s time for a change.
April 9, 2010
Today I decided that I’m going to begin sewing again. I surely did!
Let me start out by saying I’m a complete “girly girl”. I love pretty things like dresses, skirts, shoes, makeup… love, love, love. I just wish I had more of a fashion eye and I plan on making that happen. I’ve never been one to put all my attention on what the latest fashions are or pretend I know how to perfectly mix-match outfits because I have no idea half the time! Therefore, I have beautiful friends who know exactly what I should wear, what looks good together and love me enough to help me. My lovelies are the best!
SO… tomorrow night on my two hour break from work I’m going to hit up Hobby Lobby and find some fun prints to create what I hope will turn out to be some awesome skirts and dresses! The other day I stumbled across some old patterns I had when I was sewing with my Nana so I’ll use those to help steer my creativity! I’ll let you know how it goes… Maybe I’ll post some pictures!
Who knows, maybe I’ll discover I do have a fashionista side 🙂
March 29, 2010
Wow. It’s been close to a month since I took some time to share my thoughts, eh? Well, hello again!
I’ve been working at my new job for a week and a half now — love it. Love the people, love the atmosphere, love the art. Everything. Some of you that read may not know, but at this coffeehouse you don’t just get a cup of coffee — you get art. You see, there is a thing called “latte art” and I pour it (disclaimer: it’s getting there, it’s not perfect yet). Yep, yours truly pours latte art. I took a few pictures on my phone, but since it’s not fancy like most I can’t upload a picture to prove it. You’ll just have to trust me! And let me just tell me, people are serious about their latte art. There are competitions in Atlanta periodically where the baristas show their work… I plan on going to one and will probably be completely mesmerized by the whole bit. Spectacular!
Life is good. Still finding my place up here… It isn’t always such an easy thing, is it? I’m continuing to learn a lot about myself and how to be the best Emily Brooke Berry I can be. Some of the growing is uncomfortable, but it’s totally worth it. I mean, we must have been worth it for Jesus to come and take on all of our shame, right? I can’t imagine that day. My little mind can’t wrap itself around the idea that this precious, selfless man came to die on a cross for me. Think about it this way, if for no one else in the world — Jesus died just for you. You. He loves you that much to give up His life. You’re it. Crazy, huh?
Oh my soul, bless God. From head to toe, I’ll bless his holy name!
Oh my soul, bless God,
don’t forget a single blessing.
Psalm 103:1 (The Message)
March 11, 2010
I’m moving back to Atlanta! I really wish that I could use a “half exclamation point”, but apparently we don’t have those. Leaving Florida is definitely bittersweet. I’ve always been a Florida girl. I was born and raised here. Went to college here. I’ve never really lived in Atlanta… well, only on breaks (ie: summer, spring break, christmas break, etc.). I moved back down here after graduation and Christmas with every intention of finding a job, saving up money, and moving out on my own. Let’s be honest, God had other ideas. And we all know His ways are always better than ours. Always.
So, as much as I hate to say goodbye to all that I find familiar and comforting here in Florida, I know something greater and exciting is waiting for me back home. Leaving tomorrow morning will not be easy. It definitely wasn’t easy having to say goodbye to Meghan tonight before she went to bed. Did I mention I’m not a fan of goodbye’s? Nope. I’m not. The two months I’ve lived with Jason and Meghan has been nothing short of wonderful. They have blessed me beyond measure and have invested so much in me. I’m not sure they’ll ever understand how much they truly mean to me. I know you two will read this, thank you. For everything. I’ve had so many special moments with both of them, but I have really treasured this time I’ve had with Meghan. I never had a sister growing up and this time in their home has shown me how blessed I am to have one now. I just love her to pieces. They’re going to be such great parents! I was incredibly (horribly, insanely, intensely) sick Monday and Tuesday and let me just tell you, Jason was the sweetest brother ever. He took care of me just like my dad would have. Rubbed my back, got me jello and Pedialyte… even stayed in the guest bedroom next to mine just to make sure he was right there if I needed him during the night. He’s the best. Meghan’s the best. They’re the best together. I love you both and will miss you terribly.
So tomorrow I leave. It’s so bittersweet. But, I have to go. It was difficult coming down here and it will now be difficult to leave. I didn’t expect things to turn out this way.
Then again, what’s life without the unexpected?
March 3, 2010
Well, it’s Wednesday. I have interviewed at two places in two states in a matter of 4 days. Yes, go ahead and re-read that sentence. Friday I interviewed at a coffeehouse called Land of 1000 Hills and Monday I interviewed at an organics grocery store, Nutrition Smart. Two completely different places… both with pros and cons. I’m not going to list all of them for you, but just know that I’m not sure about either of them. The coffeehouse would be an amazing place to work (minus the fact that it is a 45 minute commute each way) — it’s more than just a cup of coffee… not to mention that it’s Christian owned and operated. Yes, Lord. Nutrition Smart is completely different. I would be the “Office Manager” — sit in front of a computer pretty much all day and working with the staff… Clearly I have no idea what I’m going to do.
Then there’s North Georgia College & State University. This is about 7 minutes from my house. A beautiful campus with lots of trees (eeeekk!!!) and I can only imagine that the majority of the people are kind-hearted. It IS Georgia, after all. This position is for “Assistant to the Director of Undergraduate Admission”. Basically, if you had taken all the things I did over my time in the Admission Department at Southeastern and made a list it would be this job. I’m not sayin, but I’m sayin. They’d be crazy to not hire me (I mean that in the most not-arrogant way possible).
I’ve spent a lot of time praying and a lot of time keeping my mouth shut. My dad reminded me when I was home this past weekend that often times we pray and ask God a question and give Him no time to answer. We simply can’t shut up. We’re human. So, I’m keeping quiet. I want to hear Him. Wherever He wants me, that’s where I want to be.
If you could keep me in your prayers I would really appreciate it. I covet them. A lot. It’s not easy making life decisions. That’s not to say that any of these jobs determine the rest of my life, but they do affect me. I have huge decisions to make this week. Jesus, help.
Enjoy your tea.
February 24, 2010
Here’s a list of updates:
- Job situation: pending. Still waiting to hear back from a few places in Georgia. My little fingers are crossed! I do, however, have a job interview this upcoming Monday at a place called Nutrition Smart for Office Manager… I’d be staying in Florida if that job was offered.
- I’m continuing to grow and learn and “reinvent” myself. It’s amazing what a whole lot of spare time will allow you to do. Lots of time with the Lord. LOVE it.
- Apparently I’ve lost 17 lbs. since moving back and a total of 6.5 inches. Whaaaaatt? Thank you, Jesus!
- I’m absolutely loving the time I’m getting to spend with my brother and sister-in-law. I never knew what it was like to have a sister… Meghan is the best sister I could have ever asked for. She’s teaching me SO much about life and love and let’s be honest, my bod. She’s so helpful and patient. I just love her so much and wouldn’t trade the time I get to spend with her for anything.
- Jason has been out of town since yesterday and I’m aware now, more than ever, that I don’t like the feeling of not having a man in the house. I like to feel protected. Although Chief is pretty fierce… at least his barking is.
- I’d totally marry Jim from The Office. Uh-mazing.
- Did I mention I ordered my “unfinished” headbands from Thailand and didn’t realize it? Yep. Sure did. They’re still not here yet. LAME.
- Life is about choices.
- Most significant quote to me right now, “You have to be whole to be somebody else’s half.”
So, that’s that. Hopefully I’ll have something spectacular to tell you the next time I right, but this will have to do for now.
February 19, 2010
Today, like every other day this week, I took Chief for a walk. He’s a quick one I’ll have you know. I don’t know what’s taken me so long to pick up on it, but for some reason today I had an epiphany. Sometimes his leash will get wrapped around me because he goes in circles and we have to straighten him out. We were walking and I realized I do a lot of, “Come on, Chief” or “No, don’t do that. Come on, pup” — lots of pulling him along. Leading him. Showing him the right way to go. Keeping him away from the fire ants and things that could harm him. Protection, that’s what I’m there for. Do you see where I’m going?
Jesus. He’s all that I am not. Sometimes — no, no many times — I have no idea how deeply He wants to be my Protector, Leader, the gentle voice that speaks with such patience. He never becomes frustrated with us, does He? You see, I have felt so completely lost lately that I sometimes forget that He is completely aware of where I’m headed. He knows what the next step is, where I’ll end up settling, what the “big picture” looks like. He’s never lost sight of that. I have. I’m human. So, just like I am patient and loving with my golden retriever companion, Jesus is patient with me… with you. I know I’m not the only one that feels like sometimes I run in circles (like Chief). I want to stop running in circles and get focused. Slowly, but surely, I’m getting there.
As you already know, I’ve had a lot of “spare time” the past two weeks… and for that, I’m grateful. It’s taken me some time to adjust to the fact that I’m doing all I can do to find a job but I’ve slowly learned that sometimes, all we can do is wait. Being that I belong to my mama, I naturally want to take care of people — make sure everybody is well fed, things are clean, and you have anything and everything you need. Let me just tell you, the Lord is teaching me to give up. I’ll never be able to take care of everybody. It’s not humanly possible. He has to be the One to do so. With that said, this season I’m learning to take care of myself… In every area of my life. I have been making healthy food choices and working out this past week.
My body is not my friend at the moment. I’m ok with that.
On a brighter note, I finally have my etsy.com shop up and running! Eeeeekk!!! I’m so excited about it! Hopefully I’ll be adding more items in the next few days (as I make them), but until then you can check out what I already have (and maybe purchase something!).
And hey, enjoy your tea.
February 15, 2010
…to him if he were here. But sadly, he is not. Or maybe he is and I just don’t know it yet. (Food for thought.) Don’t get me wrong, friends. I’m not this bitter, cynical 22 year old. Nope, not me. I just know that I “love to love” and whenever the future Mr. Beautiful arrives, there will be fireworks. Not sparklers. Fireworks. I’ll be so good for him. And he’ll be good for me.
I can’t wait.
Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and while I had a fun-filled morning/afternoon with one of my closest friends, the rest of the day I spent at home. This gave me time to think about life (as I’ve been doing quite a bit of, regardless of the date)… love crossed my mind. When I was 16, I was “in love” with a boy. That boy gave me my first kiss on Valentine’s Day. It was magical. Although he has chosen to basically erase the two and a half years we spent together, I haven’t. I remember what I wore on that date, where he took me to supper, the flowers he gave me, everything. My mom knew there was something special about that date. So, like any amazing mama, she was laying on my bed waiting for me when I got home that night. She wanted all the details and I was oozing with love! It was the best feeling in the world. Or so I thought.
I’m convinced that those feelings were a small taste of what real love will be like. Some would say that was “puppy love” and in retrospect, I’d agree with them. Nonetheless, I don’t regret that relationship. I learned a lot about myself and am thankful that he was a part of my life.
I say all of that to say, when I meet him I know it’s going to beat any feeling I’ve ever had. I can’t wait to meet him!